NO TIME TO PLAY

Last week when i had been home to celebrate diwali with my family, a brief discussion between my mom and my sister-in-law caught my attention. And the topic of discussion was Ananya, my 6 year old niece, who had started developing tummy tyres at this tender age!!! What my mom suggested was that Ananya should go out to play in the evenings for some time which would help her in many ways, firstly that it would be a good physical exercise and then it was quite natural that children get a part of the day to enjoy themselves. And it was my sister-in-law’s remark to this solution that left me perplexed. What she said was that earlier Ananya used to go to the park to play but nowadays she DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO PLAY!!!! And can you imagine what is it that keeps a six year old so tied up that she doesn’t find time to play, tuitions (lifeline of lower school pupils), swimming classes (seasonal), music lessons and last but not the least dance classes. And what surprised me all the more was that this little girl was least interested in half of the co-curricular activities that she was involved in outside school. I now wonder, whom to pity more, the obsessed mother or the poor child that is burdened under her mother’s obsessions.

Happy Birthday Blog

Today a complete year has elapsed since I started “Thoughts of a Perplexed Mind”. Frankly speaking, when I started this blog, I did not have a clear idea as to where this blog would lead to nor for what purpose exactly was I beginning to write on it. I did not know if I was going to share my thoughts with my readers, or was I going to share my areas of interest, was I trying for once to make them look at the world through my eyes or was I just going to share with them anything that went on in my mind. And I suppose, not much but I managed to do a bit of all the above in the past year of my blogging.

I distinctly remember the time when I was writing the introductory post for my blog. Situations were very different from what they actually are now. I had different things to think and bother about and all the more different people to interrupt me while I was writing. I had written the introductory post for this blog in room no. 20 of Poddar Chhatra Niwas in Calcutta and now am writing this first anniversary post at 194 Hakikat Nagar in Delhi. As the above sentence might indicate, this span of one year has been one of the most eventful year of my life till date, giving me uncountable joys..............................joy of scoring decent marks in board exams, of sitting in the first professional examination of my life, of being able to fulfil expectations of some important people in my life, of being able to get out of West Bengal and see the world beyond it, of earning new and completely lovable friends, of my first air journey, of owning a laptop, of having my first bank account, of having a feeling that now my parents think that I have grown up enough to take care of myself and be entrusted with important responsibilities. But there were sorrows too, leaving home for going to a place from where it won’t be possible to come back for months at a stretch, leaving behind old friends that I could really say to be friends and of not being able to fulfil the expectations of many others. This period actually taught me that you do not always need something really big or important to happen to make you happy, small things in life can be a source of eternal happiness.

Last year at a time as this, I was busy thinking whether I would fare well in my pre-selection and selection examinations? Whether my board exams would fetch me results that were decent enough to help me get into a decent college? Whether I would be able to qualify in my CA-CPT examinations. Then there came a phase that gave me practical replies to all my queries and indeed all the answers were in my favour. Then I had absolutely new queries ready with me for myself. Whether my parents would allow me to go over to Delhi for graduation, whether I would manage to get in a decent college, whether I would be able to make new friends in a completely new place where I knew no one and thankfully again all the answers were in my favour. And this circle of confusions and queries continues till infinity. But one thing that I have learnt is that it is you and only you who can answer to all your queries, no one else possesses the ability to do so

Today I am well settled in this new place as a student with almost no serious worries, though if I begin to introspect, I know I will find myself surrounded with innumerable problems. And I have found one and only one interpretation of this problem. We can never have enough of certain things in life, PROBLEMS, EXPECTATIONS, CHANGES & DESIRES are some of those. There is no saturation limit for them.

I don’t think I have done as much contribution to the blog as I could actually do. There are many things that have restrained me from blogging in the past few months. But now I think I will be able to regularly contribute to it. I wish to thank all my readers and especially Suvro Sir whose constant appreciation and support helps and encourages me to write and Supra Biyani who actually first inspired and encouraged me to start blogging at the time when I was quite apprehensive to start a blog of my own. I hope I would be able to make positive contribution regularly now.

And one last thing that I would like to say, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOG” :)

(-: Pages from my Diary :-)

Not even one full week has elapsed sine my class 12 board exams have finished and I am already feeling so bored, so confused, so helpless and so frustrated regarding almost anything and everything. It makes me feel so damn frustrated to helplessly see unending domestic problems on trivial insignificant issues, to accept my inability to stick to my decisions, to see my self confidence staggering midway and to accept the fact that I am so bad a judge of people and their personalities and characters. I have been experiencing all this for quite some time and now when I saw my frustration crossing its limits, I thought of venting out my feelings. And what better way can there be for the purpose other than this? Taking on the issues one by one:

1. Living in a joint family can be a very pleasant experience, but only as long as you are ready to adjust according to the needs of the situations and stay happy even after a couple of compromises here and there. As a child, I completely enjoyed this arrangement that I had been living in ever since I breathed first in this world. One uncle, one aunt and a couple of cousins. Everything was absolutely fantastic. But the best part was vacations when my paternal aunts used to come over to our place with their kids and all of us had a blast (literally). But as time passed and the kids grew up (myself included), everyone became busy in their own personal, academic and professional lives and these visits reduced from twice a year to barely once in two years. Those are still some of the most cherished days of my life (UNTILL NOW!!).

Earlier, since we (more specifically I), was a child, nobody would let any sort of domestic issues reach me and I myself too was least concerned about them. But gradually as I am growing up, these matters also reach my ears now and they actually make me feel wobbly in my knees. It is now that I have realized how trivial, day to day domestic problems that can be sorted out in a snap are made so serious and people go on discussing it uselessly without reaching any fruitful conclusions. (Unending discussions about the irregularity of the domestic help or the driver or anything of this sort make me feel as if I would just go deaf.L). At one read all this might quite vague to a reader but I obvious cannot delve into any greater detail regarding this. Plainly stating such insignificant household issues have been taking a toll on my mind for quite sometime. An arrangement that one was so very pleasurable once upon a time has taken a complete U-turn and all this makes me feel absolutely suffocated.

2. Its only last week that my exams got over and I realized that it was time I should really get serious with my career. It has been a sort of tradition in my family to study to become a C.A and later not to work as one. So following the footprints on the sand, I decided that even I would also become a C.A. but wait, that isn’t my one and only aim in life. My career interests have been changing ever since I was in the eighth standard. Initially I wanted to become an engineer, like most people in my class wanted to become (though a tutor of mine also played an influential role in that decision). But as time passed and I became more rational in my thoughts, I realized that I didn’t have the aptitude for science and so gradually shifted my interest from science to commerce. (anyways, at that point of time I didn’t know what it is like to work as an engineer or a doctor or an accountant or a manager, and now though I know what the difference is between the kind of work they do, I don’t know which one of them would suit or interest me ). So after the tenth standard I took up commerce, initially determined to become a chartered accountant, then to become a lawyer then neither to become a chartered accountant or a lawyer but to try my hands at mass-communication, then reverted to my decision of becoming a chartered accountant and a lawyer and currently am hanging somewhere in midst of all of them (the condition is really dangerous, I know that.)

This has been my situation for almost six months now and has greatly intensified in the past one month or so. I am not being to take any decision of my own and even if I succeed in taking one, am unable to stick to it for long. Every Tom, Dick and Harry seems to influence my decisions and this is one thing that has bothering me a lot for quite some time now. I am not being able to find answers to absolutely simple questions as to what career should I choose for myself, what tuitions should I take where should I study from an so on and so forth.

3. I am a very poor judge of people- their characters and their personalities. It takes a very long time for me to gauge people, what type they actually are, and even after that I am incapable of judging them. This is one problem I think I have had for quite a long time but a couple of acquaintances in the recent past have helped me greatly in realizing this drawback of my personality. On the face of it, I hate deceptive, double-faced people and when I find it hard to decide that whether someone whom I consider to be a friend is actually the way he/she is or he/she is masking/faking his/her personality, it really gets difficult for me to keep my cool. I also have no idea of how am I going to sort this problem out but it keeps bothering me since it affects me both emotionally and mentally. I do not know whether this is a drawback of mine or a blessing in disguise but whatever it is I sincerely so pray to God that he help me get out of this dilemma.

These were some issues that had been bugging me a lot for quite some time and the impact of which had started becoming so intense that it started showing up in my behavior (socially as well as personally). These small incidents that had been a part of my diary till sometime back have come out on a public platform as this just because I think many people of my age might be able to relate to some of these incidents and share the same with me.

NOTICE!!

Hi everyone!!

This time I think I went against my own principle of not letting anyone or everyone matter to me or bother me and paid a price for it. I don’t know what I did or what I didn’t do but, BANG!! I fell bang on against my own head while trying to casually befriend someone and yeah, it really hurt badly.

Anyways a lesson well learnt. I actually wrote out this post to inform all my readers that I’ll be off the internet indefinitely till further notice.

So, wishing all a very happy new year, happy republic day, happy valentine’s day, happy holi and happy April fool’s day.

Thanking you,

Nishant Choudhary
(Blog Administrator)

Future Imperfect

On the Cards

“Sir, Madame. I will tell you correctly what the future holds for you. Only Rs. 100. A middle aged man started announcing to us, a bunch of six people. One person in our group, KK, wanted to try it, since we were getting bored anyway. I wondered if he’d taken leave of his senses. What was the point wasting so much money over pointless predictions? Still, KK started the negotiations by trying to get the man climb down from Rs. 100. Pat came the reply, “Sir, you are a very clever man. It’s written on your forehead.” I thought, “of course, if KK is negotiating with him, he ought to be smart. One does not need to be a palmist to predict this.” However KK became interested after hearing those two magic words of appreciation. The man “predicted” that KK would lead a very happy life and that his folks would never have any complaints against him. Hearing this KK beamed with pride, as if he had just been nominated for an Oscar. Then came the googly, though. “You will meet with an accident in the ear future, so be careful. You should always follow your heart. You will have a love marriage.”
We all want to know what’s in our future and that desire sometimes takes over our present. I, being the know-it-all, knew it was coming we were clearly a bunch of college pass outs who’d be receptive to the idea of true love- the man knew the trick of the trade. A bubble of excitement persisted and everyone queued up to have their hands “read”. I, proudly excuse myself, but for most of my friends, the future was too tempting to resist. And when a friend persuaded me to give it a shot one gave in to the temptation. I too wanted to know when cupid would strike, after all! And the man said, “Madame, you will get the guy you like. You just have to choose him. But, your health will be a major problem.” Health? Who was interested in that? With everyone in a jolly good mood, we went to our hotel after paying him off. The post-mortems of our would be love lives went late into the night. But we weren’t worried about our failing health or financial troubles. We believed what we wanted to. So, on not-so-favourable matters, we simply decided that physicist Niels Bohr was right when he said, “Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.”

Suparna Goswami.

The above story was published in The Times of India (31/12/2008). The central theme of the story has been clearly stated by the author in the last two sentences of the story. But other than that, there are many other messages that the author has conveyed very subtly throughout the story, incidents and thoughts that most of us would easily be able to relate to, that most of us have experienced sometime or the other in our lifetimes. So, any comments??

Are We Humane?

In today’s context it wouldn’t any anything out of the ordinary to be writing on a topic such as this but sometimes when I sit back and reiterate on things that I see happening around me, this thought involuntarily comes in my mind, “is humanity alive?” The heading might not attract many readers because it is a topic that has long been debated upon and more often than not, without reaching any substantial conclusions. So today, here, on this platform, I chose to pen down my thoughts in this context.

On the face of it the heading seems to be really old and boring, like one of those middle school essay topics (even I felt soJ), but if we look at this problem from a different perspective, if we actually “NOTICE” what is happening around us all the time, then even it be momentarily but this thought is bound to come to your mind. Old, poor, handicapped and helpless men, women and children dying on roadsides, crying for help, hoping that at least one of the thousands passers-by would have a heart that he would stop by and help, but to no avail. People today I guess have become so “BUSY” (more often with their cell phones, girlfriends, snazzy gadgets and automobiles rather and with some substantial work) and heartless that even the painful moans of a child dying by the roadside fail to stir them, and unfortunately the poor moaning creature doesn’t know this.

I was not aware that the situation in the real world was so very devastating until I actually stepped into it. Before this I was at home full time just commuting to school and back and did not venture out to a third place by myself. I was living in a really small place (where one could actually identify each and every resident by the name), and life was pretty simple. People cared for one another and came to one another’s rescue whenever situations demanded. But the moment I stepped into what my parents identified to me as the “REAL WORLD”, what I saw and experienced pained me more than it did shock me. It was a world where everyone lives absolutely for oneself and has no concern for even a roommate whatsoever (it’s just an instance, situations can vary). In these two years of my life away from home in Calcutta, I have had a couple of such experiences that I guess would stay with me for a log long time.

Crippled, helpless people are left to die on the streets on metropolitan cities and the passers-by, as their name suggests, simply pass by overlooking that someone needs help, someone is dying. If this someone had been a person wearing good clothes and was clean, perhaps a couple of people might have stopped to help, but since these helpless people are poor and untidy no one offers help. There have been dozens of instances when I have seen such people lying by the roadside, unconscious, in the same posture, no one knowing whether he is alive or dead, for days at a stretch and ultimately what happens, no one knows.

“WE CARE FOR YOU” KP. Doesn’t this caption seem familiar?? Yes, this is Calcutta Police’s slogan, we care for you, but where does this care go when even the police patrolling parties overlook helpless people by the roadside until they are dead!! I believe this is police’s hypocrisy, why use a tagline for yourself that is so misfitting, that you cannot stand by!! There are dozens of charitable hospitals, NGO’s and rehabilitation institutions in cities, but can we actually feel their existence with so many helpless people lying around. The answer I suppose is NO.

By writing out this article I do not intend to convey that I personally do a lot for the betterment of such people, and so should you. No, saying that would be untrue on my part, but through this post, I wish to say that WE can make a difference in the lives of such estranged, helpless people through small efforts on our part. This is an appeal to all my readers, “do help the needy”, in whatever small or big way that you can, but do help, because small efforts lead to big results!!

Thank You, Sir

Suvro Chatterjee, this is a name that I guess will be familiar with the most of us reading this article. He has always been a friend, philosopher and guide to the most of us in the true sense of the phrase. So on this 45th birthday of our beloved Sir, I thought of dedicating this post to him. After all this is one thing that most of us have always wanted to say to sir, “thank you. Sir”, but many, rather, most of us, I guess have never been able to say so. So here I take this opportunity to share with my readers all that I have learnt about Mr. Suvro Chatterjee (though it might be negligible in comparison to what many of my elders would be knowing, but still)

It was a summers evening in May, 2005 that I first saw sir. I had gone over to his place to get myself enrolled for admission and had almost lost the opportunity of studying with him and hence knowing him since I was horribly late. He had finished with he admission procedure and had almost declined my admission when he suddenly said “Yes” and enrolled me in his “St Michael’s batch”. That instance I guess was the beginning of my acquaintance with one such person that I think I will never be able to forget ever. My first impression of him was a very casual one. I thought he would be like most other tuition teachers, give notes, lectures, take money at the end of the month and whoosh!!! But this impression of his mine changed in the very first few sessions with him. He was not like every other tutor who would dictate notes, deliver lecturers and at the end of the month go away counting the number of Gandhi faces in his hands. I found out that he is actually a “TEACHER” and not merely a tutor. He is someone who could get personally involved with each and every pupil even in a batch that consisted of more than twenty five students. Fun and studies, jokes and rebuke, novels and movies, everything is a part of his classes. He is the first and probably the last teacher of his kind that I have ever seen or will ever see. He is someone to whom even the most notorious boy/girl could love going. He makes learning fun and those two hours with him twice a week were “Bliss”. He can ignite love for English in even the most ignorant person, believe me. In his company time seems to zoom past like anything. This might seem to be a bit childish but Sir knows everything. Talk to him about anything ranging from taekwondo to haiku poetry, from art to philosophy, from puppy love affairs to the most serious of discussions, he will take you for a roller-coaster ride on any topic under the sun. I swear, I have not seen another so knowledgeable a person in the eighteen years of my existence.

Then those 19 months of association with him in those classes ended and we all were upset since most of us would not get the opportunity of learning with him any more. But this was the end of the first phase of my relation with Sir. This I would rather call a shallow overview of Sir’s character because till this time I knew very little about sir personally and hadn’t talked to him much outside studies, syllabus and Shakespeare. But the kind of relation that I have been sharing with sir after passing out from class ten is something absolutely different and worth cherishing. Now I have understood that it is not only academics, you can share anything you wish with Sir, end he will not only be a patient listener to you but will definitely help you out if you are stuck up.

It has been about two years now that I last attended his classes and by that virtue I should be called an “ex-student” of his, but even today I feel proud to call myself his student and will always continue to do so. After passing out from class ten I could not understand how to go about the mental trauma that I had been facing trying to adjust in my new life and it was then that Sir came to my rescue. He boosted my morale so much so that in a short time I not only started liking the new life but now I am actually enjoying it. Thank you so much Sir. With Sir I find myself discussing things that I don’t think I would have been able to share with anyone if Sir wasn’t around. Today he has turned 45 but still every time I see him I find a youthful vigour in his gestures, a twinkling vitality in his eyes the never ending smile on his face (things that nowadays people begin to lose even before they ate 35). I feel blessed at having known someone so perfect as Sir at such an early stage in my life.

But there also are a number of people who simply hate Suvro Chatterjee for practically no reason whatsoever. Some find him all too boring while some others believe that he gives too much of “gyan” and this is something that I have not been able to figure out. Why on earth do you abuse someone if he does not personally tell you anything? If you cannot admire a person for his good qualities then why unnecessarily abuse him?

Whatever said and done but personally I feel that Sir is not simply an individual, he is an Institution in himself. Believe it or not he has substantially changed the way of thinking and subsequently the lives of many of us for the better and it is because of this that I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude towards Sir. Thank you, Sir; thank you for everything. You have been a friend, a mentor, a source of inspiration for me. And lastly I wish you a very very HAPPY BIRTHDAY. May God bless you!

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This is a humble attempt on my part to pay tribute to one of the finest man that I have ever known. A small gift to Sir, on his birthday. It is an appeal to all my visitors, do share any special memory/experience that you had with Sir and make this gift yet more special. Your entries will be gratefully acknowledged. Thank you.